Dear Friend X,

I've been having bad days and nights thinking about this good relationship we're having that's going downhill. You've been a really great friend, always attempting to tell me I'm not irritating and such. It's really enjoyable whenever we chat, either on MSN or text. Then, when I started going overboard and began taking things for granted, things start to change. Nothing stays the same forever - things just keep changing. Now, I'm trying to change things, trying to fix things right but it just won't. It's not the same anymore.

Now, full of remorse, I'm utterly disappointed in myself but what's the use now? Things are done, words are said. What's done is done, no use crying over spilled milk. Surprising how we could even become friends when we don't even talk when we're in school.

When there's a beginning, there's an end. Now, trying to talk to you after that day had been terrible. It's different now, and I don't like it... not one bit of it. Idk what to do now. Am I supposed to keep trying or just let us drift apart? Please, I don't like the latter and I hope you don't too...

Sincerely, Duncan.
P/S, I hope things work out right sometime soon.

It has been quite a long time ever since I've blogged! Well, things have changed a lot since the past few weeks. Firstly, O's have officially ended just recently and i've been playing or sleeping. Basically, all I do is to watch One Piece and that's all I do all day long if I don't have any plans to go out.

Anyway, just a few days back, thoughts have been running through my mind over and over again. It's just the same thing repeatedly every night. You know, would someone choose to be with their other half than friendship? It feels as though you lose one friend when that person gets into a relationship. They pay close attention to their lover and then, neglecting their friends slowly. Is that how it goes, or it's just my thoughts gone wild?..

Speaking of which, does one's look matter more than it's personality? Majority would say that personality would matter more than the looks, right? However, why does people always look at how handsome or pretty a person is? Do handsome guys get all the pretty ladies while the ugly boys go home and whine?

So, should we mask everyone like this? Well, looks doesn't matter right? People love you for your heart, without a choice, and not how you look... If looks does matter, then I feel really inferior. Especially when I see other guys out there, they're all handsome and they are always with the pretty sexy hot ladies. This is really just making me feel demoralised.

Next, I'm not a sporty guy. I'm not bloody skinny, and I don't have the muscles. How am I gonna survive through National Service when I need to? How can I impress the ladies with my 6packs? So, if you want some muscles and keeping yourself fit, one necessary thing to do is to get a sport and work on it. Everyone should have their own speciality, right?

                                         I can't kick and score goals like Fernando Torres.

                                         I can't jump and shoot hoops like Michael Jordon.

 

                                   I can't swim for long, neither can I swim as fast as Tao Li.

I don't know, it sucks to know you can't do something right. Never did, never will. &All that I think to myself is, 'Would giving up, be the best idea?'. I don't feel so, but I don't ever put in the effort. I don't have good strong legs that can keep me running for hours and maintain my speed. I can't shoot basketballs, not even from a 3-pointer. You know, how pathetic this is? It's a disgrace to myself, and I don't wna try. I won't play basketball, because of the shame you get when you get an air-ball constantly. It's just really hideous. I don't even have to speak about swimming. Some might know what conditions I have that I just won't want to dip myself into the pool. I don't like myself and I just hate this body of mine...

Deplorable.